Parenting, Inc., written by Pamela Paul, goes beyond criticizing the baby product industry for its over-the-top marketing ploys, and analyzes how this exploding industry is impacting parents’ child-rearing abilities. It is an eye-opening read for any couple thinking of having children, as well as for those parents who know they should trust their instincts but are getting swept away in the tide of marketing and societal pressures.
The book’s first chapter discusses the ridiculous amounts of gear that parents are guilted into purchasing even before the little one is born. Forget diapers, baby wipes and onesies; parents are now made to feel inadequate if they don’t purchase every available item (including wipe warmers and baby-monitoring cameras) that could potentially minimize their child’s discomfort and maximize his happiness. Sure, parents want their children to be happy, and there’s nothing wrong with happiness. But, as Paul wonders: “Does it make sense to have a happy baby all the time?”
In the book, Jack Shonkoff, chairman of the National Scientific Council on the Developing Child, reminds us that “babies need to live in a real world, a real environment, where things sometimes go well and sometimes don’t… They need some time to flounder by themselves and figure things out.” The author then argues that by catering to the whims of children, parents are creating a generation of entitled and attention-seeking human beings, who look to others when problems need to be solved.
Any teacher who works with children of affluence can sadly attest to the phenomenon of problem-solving deficit disorder. I have students who don’t know how to say “help me” when they first start school, and who will sit and stare for 20 minutes at a material I’ve shown them how to use, without making any effort to tackle the work in front of them, ask a classmate for help, or even put the material away. None of my kindergartners (five very bright children) knew what the word “solution” meant when they came to my classroom this year. Does that mean they’d never been presented with a problem???
Paul reminds us that the worst part of all the paraphernalia peddled to parents is its impact on parental confidence. The underlying message is that parenting is an overwhelming job that simply cannot be done well without the use of ridiculous amounts of expensive equipment. And when the perfect family life doesn’t materialize, parents are left to feel that they and their flawed children – not the backed-by-experts products – are to blame.
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