What I’m Reading
Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult
A Reliable Wife by Robert Goolrick
This is going to be a quick post, because I spent a lot more time talking about me and why I’m doing this than I had planned. But while reading today, there were two things that really stuck out to me.
I’m in the middle of Handle With Care, and the part that I read today just screamed my life. The two main characters, Charlotte and Shawn (I apologize if I misspell the names, by “reading,” I’m actually listening to the audio book) were fighting, and I had such a similar argument with my boyfriend just hours prior, that I had to force myself not to cry. The careless words that Shawn throws at Charlotte hurt me too, and they hurt when my boyfriend says them also. But my boyfriend thinks I can’t see his point of view, and he’s so wrong. I can understand where Shawn is coming from, just as I can understand where the basis my boyfriend’s opinions and thoughts are rooted. I wish he could only see and understand that, though I may not articulate myself well when I feel pressured and threatened, I really do understand. I probably understand more than he’ll ever know.
I just started A Reliable Wife today, and there was one quote that really stabbed my heart: “You can live with hopelessness for only so long before you are, in fact, hopeless.” Is that what’s become of me? Lately, I feel so detached from life. I hoped for quite awhile that things would get better, and when I didn’t start seeing results, I waited, without much faith, that things would get better on their own. Now, I don’t see things improving. Now, I’m not sure what I can do to work my way out of this mess. And I don’t care. I may still cry, but it’s over the emptiness I feel, not because of my hopelessness. Does that make me, in fact, hopeless?
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